


Hearts on Fire

by gallimfry



Category: EXO (Band), Hunger Games Series - All Media Types
Genre: Action/Adventure, Hunger Games, M/M, Romance, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-16
Updated: 2016-09-16
Packaged: 2018-08-15 08:33:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8049460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gallimfry/pseuds/gallimfry
Summary: Prompt Code: P094
A Hunger Games AU. Joonmyeon, a citizen of The Capitol, wakes up during the night to find an unconscious stranger on his balcony. Under a sudden impulse, he decides to help the other, putting both of them in grave danger.





	Hearts on Fire

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Hearts on fire  
>  **Prompt Code:** P094  
>  **Rating:** R  
>  **Side pairing/s:** Kaisoo, Baekyeol  
>  **Length:** 15000  
>  **Summary:** A Hunger Games AU. Joonmyeon, a citizen of The Capitol, wakes up during the night to find an unconscious stranger on his balcony. Under a sudden impulse, he decides to help the other, putting both of them in grave danger.  
>  **Warning/s:** mention of death of minor characters (not main story heroes), minor descriptions of physical injuries  
>  **Notes:** I'm so happy with this fic. I spend so much time writing this that in some way it became a part of my daily life and now that I finished it I feel kind of empty. First of all I wanted to thank my amazing beta :) Y you were absolutely amazing and I couldn't have done it without your help. My prompter thank you for the amazing prompt. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this :) I am very sorry if sometimes my universe is not an exact copy of the Hunger Games universe but I wanted to focus on my own original plot more, than just copy the events from the book. My dear readers I hope you enjoy reading this fic as much as enjoyed writing it and hope to see you another time. I love you and thank you for being there for me everyone :)

Jongdae didn't understand a lot. He didn't understand, when at five, he watched people starve to death on the streets. He didn't understand when he watched bombs fall upon the city he called home. When he turned eighteen, he still didn't understand anything, coming back just to find his house empty, in ruins, plundered of all valuables. Walls, windows and furniture shattered into a pile of rubble where his room stood before.

He searched for answers in his heart, in his tears, in screams and as he went down a long ladder into the bunker, met by confused stares of many other young adults gathered in the room. Their faces were stern and distrustful as they watched him enter the room. 

“I want to fight with you.”

They all nodded their heads but no signs of joy or exhilaration crossed their faces. They all knew that none of them would be lucky enough to see the full moon again.

The combat training they gave him was very imprecise and accelerated. When two months later an almost suicide mission into the Capitol was announced, no one expected the newbie to volunteer, but Jongdae raised his hand and then calmly crossed the room to join the other recruits. 

His stare was ice cold and fixed in the distance but the night before their departure, when nobody was looking, tears flowed down his cheeks sinking into his pillow.

\---

Joonmyeon opened his eyes. It was the middle of the night but the city outside the windows still bustled with life. Sounds of people laughing and music from parties echoed down futuristic streets. Joonmyeon spent a few minutes just staring at the ceiling illuminated by the glow of white artificial light from the street lamps. He got out of bed and went towards the kitchen to make himself something to drink. However, he didn't make it very far. A barely noticeable red glow coming from the closet doors made him turn sharply and open the door with one pull and quickly kneel in front of the lowest shelf.

A small device resembling an antenna stood in the corner beeping quietly and a small red light flashed as if in desperation. An incoming transmission.

He pressed the button of the receiver. A voice, neutral at first but becoming more desperate by the minute, started talking, his words rushed and accelerated. 

“Today a regiment of three brave resistance soldiers was captured by the Capitol while performing an extremely dangerous but vital mission. A rescue operation is underway but to conduct it effectively we need support from the inside—” At this point, the tone resembled pleading. “If you're listening from the Capitol, please help. They will die otherwise. We need your help. _Please_.”

Joonmyeon turned off the radio and closed his eyes feeling guilt rise in his chest again. So many times had he heard pleads for help from the rebels and so many times had he refused to do anything. Pretending the cruelty behind the walls of the city didn’t exist was always much easier. This time, however, it felt different. The voice in the radio was desperate, filled with so much emotion and feeling that it made Joonmyeon’s heart ache. 

He knew this desperation, the overwhelming sadness that was laced in this voice. That is how one sounded when someone close to you was on the verge of death. 

He stared blankly into the distance. It had been a year since he first found the frequency of this radio station. Things he heard there terrified him beyond belief. He was born smart but his parents taught him to keep it behind a facade of stupidity, makeup and extravagant hairstyles. After all, that was the only way you could survive in the Capitol. 

However, after his father’s suspicious death, he started collecting information. Day by day, locked in his room with blinds drawn, he listened to the quiet chatter of the radio and wrote down information. Day by day he formed a clearer image of the cruel world around him.  
He had to keep his facade on. Any slightest change in his behaviour would cause suspicion and could result in death. So he did that. He attended all the disgusting parties, took part in pretentious events and shook hands and exchanged greetings with people he slowly started to despise. Then, he came home, washed off the eyeliner and during the dark nights, cried tears for the nameless defeated soldiers of the districts.

After his father’s funeral, his mother never got better. Joonmyeon could hear her cries echoing in the house during the night. She passed away a few months later. As more time passed after her death, he started hating himself more and more, for pretending, for his own hypocrisy and for doing nothing. He knew well that he couldn't; he couldn't help them because that would mean risking his own life for something was not prepared for. Or maybe he was just too used to his comfortable life style?

He opened his eyes and shook his head, shutting off the radio and the desperate male voice along with it. Only now did he realize he had tears slowly flowing down his flushed cheeks. He wiped them away angrily and closed the closet door after cautiously covering the radio with a portion of clothes. He lied in bed desperately wanting to just go back to sleep and forget about everything that just happened but his brain couldn't let go. In his imagination, he could hear the voices over and over again. 

“Please help, please.” 

Joonmyeon got up and walked to the kitchen, the sound of his bare feet against cold and polished wood echoing in the corridors, trying to take his mind somewhere else. He was just pouring water into a shining metal cup when he heard a very quiet knock coming from the direction of the living room. He paused in his movements, shifting to the right to peek through the half open kitchen door out to the other room. 

Another knock. Very quiet, not rhythmic, almost giving the impression of a random noise more than an intentional act. Joonmyeon peeked down at his wrist watch. It was twenty five past four, an hour at which even the neverending bustling of the Capitol came to a halt as everyone tried to catch a few hours of sleep before more social events ensued the next day.

Slowly, he made his way over to stand in the doorway, looking out at the room lit brightly by the moonlight filtering through thin lace curtains. His apartment placed on the fifth floor of a six storey building did not have direct access to the small square of a green garden below but a small balcony overlooking the park below was the only thing that allowed him to take a breath of fresh air once in awhile. 

The knock sounded again, this time much less intense as if losing out on its strength but clearly coming from the balcony door. Joonmyeon didn't think twice before approaching it. His steps sounded dull in the empty flat as he quickly walked across the floor. He expected many things but what he saw exceeded all of them. Through the tall glass door, coming out to the balcony, he noticed a human figure, lying on the ground with his limbs curled up around his small body, one hand outstretched towards the window, still and no longer knocking. A small puddle of blood pooled in front of the stranger’s chest, staining the bright tiles scarlet. The man's jacket also had a red stain on the right side of his chest next to his arm. The small logo stitched on his shirt was imprecise and made as if in a hurry but Joonmyeon could distinguish a figure of a bird. A mockingjay. The logo of the rebellion.

At this exact moment he probably should have turned around, called the Peace Keepers and waited until they resolved the issue, or at least that was what any law abiding citizen would have done. Joonmyeon, however, chose to approach the door to take a closer look at the figure lying on the balcony tiles. His dark brown hair were spread over his face which looked porcelain white under the moon. Dark smudges of blood and dirt marred his face and hands creating even more contrast with his light complexion.

He opened the door to the balcony and stood in the doorway unsure of what to do. The man in front of him was unconscious but his chest moved up and down slightly in irregular movements. Still breathing. Joonmyeon’s heart beat fast as he listened to the silence around him, discerning any irregularities, any indication that someone could be watching. He scanned all the windows in the nearby buildings for faces but did not find anything and directed his gaze back towards the body on the floor.

He stood completely motionless as thousands of thoughts passed through his brain. His parents. His father's body in a coffin being taken up the stairs. The flames of the incinerator as the dry wood caught fire. The loud cries of his mother while tears streamed down her cheeks. Finally, the voice on the radio from the transmission he heard today. “We need your help.” And then suddenly only one thought filled his mind. I need to help. Help. Help.

He took a step forward, falling onto his knees by the injured man’s side. He needed to stop the bleeding first. Joonmyeon ran back inside and into the bathroom, grabbing a small first aid kit from the closet. He rushed back out to the balcony, nervously unwrapping the packaging. He grabbed the other man’s bleeding arm and wrapped it tightly in bandages. It crossed Joonmyeon’s mind that he had no idea what he was doing at all but he proceeded to tend to the wound as well as he could.

Once all the bandages were in place, he gently grabbed the man by his arms and dragged him into the living room, a trail of fresh blood marking the expensive flooring. The man in front of him definitely needed rest. He started dragging the motionless body towards the bedroom but stopped halfway in his tracks. Huge panoramic windows would make it impossible to hide him there. In The Capitol, the word “privacy” lost its meaning a long time ago. The only place in this whole apartment with no windows was—the bathroom.

It took him almost ten minutes to quickly grab the sheets of his bed, lay them in his bathtub, and drag the man over the railing to lay him on the hurriedly prepared “bed”. The white covers immediately soaked in the blood still flowing from the wound, dying it scarlet. Joonmyeon ran out of the bathroom and ran to the balcony. He knew the man had to be taken care of but he had to clean up all the visible trails first.

Grabbing as many dry towels and filling a bucket of water, he started wiping the tiles furiously with the damp cloth. Luckily, the surface of his balcony was not adhesive, and the red stains washed off easily. Joonmyeon still didn't understand how the man got onto the balcony. His apartment was on the fifth floor and climbing it from the balcony below would be near impossible in the other’s state but he decided to drop it for now.

He hauled all the things from the balcony back inside, drawing down the blinds. He would clean up the floor in his living room some other time. Not wanting to arouse his neighbor's suspicions at his sudden isolation, he left the kitchen and bedroom blinds up.

Walking into the bathroom again for the first time in an hour, he had some time to think about what actually happened. The adrenaline pumping in his veins all this time had started to wear off and Joonmyeon felt exhaustion creeping into his body.

He looked at the face of the man lit up by the orange glow of light bulbs and the dark hair contrasting with his light skin and sterile white of the bathroom. His skin was still unusually pale and his lips were still livid. However, his breathing seemed to even out with every minute while the bleeding slowly stopped. 

Joonmyeon wanted to help more, make him feel better, make those eyes with long lashes open so he could see what color they were. He wanted to rub the pained expression off the stranger’s face and make those lips curve up in a smile, but all he could do for now was watch. Extremely cautious, he took a small damp towel from the rack and wiped his face from smudges of mud and dried blood. The stranger's face seemed to emanate with its own glow, however, to Joonmyeon’s dismay, his expression remained dark.

He changed the bandages on his arm for new ones and then took thirty minutes to clean all the floors and furniture in his house. Later, he took all the dirty towels and threw them into the laundry machine.

The rush of adrenaline had disappeared completely and he felt his eyes close quickly. He managed to take some old blankets and pillows and laid them on the floor next to the bathtub. Leaving the light on, Joonmyeon lied down. Only a thin layer of fabric separated his body from the cold tiles but strangely, for the first time in his life, Joonmyeon felt pleasant heat spread over his entire body. For the first time since his father's death, as he fell asleep, a small smile formed on his lips.

\---

He was woken up by a the sounds of quiet shuffling and gasps coming from the bathtub next to him. The open door to the bathroom was now letting in the rays of late morning sunlight through and contrasting with the glow of the artificial light bulbs on the ceiling.

It took Joonmyeon a good few second to realise what he was doing on the ground of the bathroom and why the air was tinged with a metallic smell of blood. He jumped to his feet pivoting around to look inside the bathtub. The figure of the stranger in his black clothes clearly stood out from the white ceramic tiles. He looked almost the same as Joonmyeon left him last night. Almost. The only difference being his eyes which, now open, were staring with terror straight at Joonmyeon.

“Who, who are—?” the other mumbled through his pursed lips instinctively raising his hands to protect himself from an attack.

Joonmyeon raised his hands up in the air as if to indicate he didn't mean to hurt the other and taking a step backwards to offer him more personal space.

“My name is Joonmyeon.” he said, desperately trying to sound as if he knew what was happening. He stopped for a while debating on what should be said next and continued with hesitation. “I helped you last night. You were in a pretty bad shape.”

The other looked down at his bandaged arm, clothes covered in blood and smudges of dirt on the skin of his palms and sleeves of his shirt. Suddenly like a tornado wave a realisation of what happened must have hit him with all its force because his face went pale and tears started flowing down his cheeks. He curled his legs to his torso and covered his face with the palms of his hands sobbing quietly.

“Oh my god, I re—I remember now.” his whole body shook slightly as he continued to sob quietly clearly not able to keep his defences up.

Joonmyeon’s heart stopped for a fraction of a second and he felt an urgent need to hug the other. Still he didn't move trying to offer at least a little bit of privacy to the shivering figure crouched in his bathtub.

It took good ten minutes for the other man to stop sobbing. He slowly raised his head looking with his round eyes straight at Joonmyeon, who managed to notice they were brown with speckles of gold sprinkled on the sides, before the other blinked a few times and wiped away his tears.

“I’m sorry. I didn't mean to.” his voice was still shaking but the tried to hide it. “You said you helped me last night Joonmyeon?”

Joonmyeon nodded his head slightly. “I found you on my balcony. Pretty roughed up. There was blood everywhere and your were unconscious.”

His eyes opened wider at this mention and some hardly noticeable tension appeared on his face “On your balcony? And you just so decided to help me? Why on earth—” 

Joonmyeon really didn't feel like explaining his motives right now to a complete stranger. He cut his question short “That's not important right now. What matters is that you are here and we need to figure out what to do next.” The words came out much more aggressive than he intended.

The fact that Joonmyeon used the word we instead of you didn’t escape the others attention. The stern look disappeared from his face and his expression became more open and calm. He nodded deciding not to press any further. 

“You still didn't tell me your name.” Joonmyeon’s words sounded more like a question than a statement. 

A small frown spread over the stranger's face and Joonmyeon noticed his hesitation. He quickly added “I know you’re scared but truth be told I think you being here is much more dangerous to me than I could ever be to you.”

After a while of further though the other said cautiously “It’s Jongdae,” a few seconds later he added, “but don't treat this as a sign of trust or anything.“

Joonmyeon nodded his head again. At least now he had a name he could put to this beautiful pale face and he wasn’t going to argue. He got up from the ground turning towards the door.

“I know you don’t trust me Jongdae.” he said walking towards the door “You have many reasons to do so. However if you want to live you need to trust me enough to know that if you try to leave this house you will most probably be dead before you reach the end of the street.” he stopped in the doorway “I’ll bring you something to eat.”

Joonmyeon walked out of the bathroom and into the living room first. Pulling up the blinds he let in the sunlight fall on the floor and opened the balcony door letting in some chilly morning air into the room. Starting from the balcony and finishing on the corridor he checked that yesterday the cleaned everything up thoroughly. After making sure everything was fine he headed to the kitchen.

The fridge was mostly empty as the citizens of The Capitol rarely engaged in any cooking or any house work for that matter. Especially the richer parts of society had the habit of eating every meal in expensive restaurants or attending horrendously luxurious events. His closest friend Chanyeol who belonged to this group insisted on taking Joonmyeon out almost everyday or invited him to his house for expensive extravagant dinner parties. Still Joonmyeon liked to sometimes just cook his own meal in the peace and quiet of his flat.

He took his time while preparing the food, laying out the eggs cautiously and looking for kitchen utensils he never even knew he owned. The recipie his grandma taught him when he was little was still stuck in his head. 

Memories from back when he was little and his parents were still here started resurfacing from deep inside his brain as the smell of fried rice reached his nostrils. They used to live in a different much bigger house on the top floor of a skyscraper that rose high above other city buildings. His dad held a position in the government working for president Snow. This granted him privileges many capitol citizens would never be able to obtain.

The summer when Joonmyeon was twelve his father received the possibility to take a trip outside the city walls. Joonmyeon could still remember how holding his mother's hand he crossed the door of a shiny train and then leaving it again a few hours later to see the most breathtaking view of his life. Green fields and pastures dragging for miles on end, stretching until they reached the horizon with a distant foggy outline of mountains in the background.

He spend this day with his mother and grandmother running through tall grass, chasing flying birds and watching the outline of the giant city, rising like a mirage in the distance. That day his dad was not with them. As soon as the train disappeared in the distance he took off but when he returned a few hours later he was never the same anymore. Joonmyeon didn't know what he had experienced on the fields of the eleventh district that day but he knew it changed everything.

He snapped out of his thoughts when the oil on his pan started sizzling too much, throwing hot drops of oil on the ceramic tiles on the walls. He quickly finished up the dish and plated it carelessly, taking two spoons out of his drawer.

When he came back to the bathroom Jongdae was still sitting in the bathtub, bloody bandages dropped to the ground as he examined the wound on his arm. Joonmyeon placed the plate with food on the sink and the other tore his eyes away from his own body. He picked up the plate quickly and started eating immediately, mumbling out a quiet thanks under his nose. 

“It’s really good.” he said smiling after he emptied the entire plate. “Where did you learn to cook like this. I always thought capitol citizens would not raise a finger of their own.”

“No offence but I don't think people in your district, nor the rebels for that matter,” Jongdae gasped quietly in surprise, “actually know much about The Capitol citizens.” Judging by the gasp apparently the other didn't expect him to figure out his identity that quickly. Joonmyeon smiled, proud that he managed to catch the other off guard. “My grandmother taught me the recipe” he added smugly.

Jongdae cleared his throat as if regretting his earlier reaction. “That’s weird. We have a very similar dish, back at home. Back at eleven.” Joonmyeon looked at him surprised the other confirmed his suspicions so fast. “So I wasn’t wrong after all? It is the elven eh?”

Jongdae nodded his head. “How did you figure it out?”

Joonmyeon was silent for a while and then said “I was there as a kid. Me, my mum and my grandma. We sat on the meadow and saw an orchard in the distance. And there were people climbing the trees like it was their second home.” he pointed his head towards the door. “Only a very good climber could have made it all the way to my balcony.” he shrugged.

Jongdae watched his expression for a while and cracked a small smile “It turns out that contrary to the general belief capitol citizens are not all as stupid and soulless as I was told.”

Joonmyeon scoffed, slightly offended “I don't know whether I should treat it as a compliment or not.”

Now it was Jongdae's turn to shrug “I don't know, I didn't meet any others so I can't tell your for now. Apart from the guy that beat me up yesterday and pierced my arm with a knife. Definitely didn't like that one.”

Joonmyeon knew that it was not a good time to laugh however he couldn't help but snort slightly. “Well I hope you’ll make sure to never run into him again.” he paused getting himself ready for the possible consequences of the next question he was going to ask. “What actually happened?”

Jongdae's expression changed momentarily from slightly amused to grim. “I’d really rather not talk about it—” apologies started to leave Joonmyeon’s mouth however Jongdae continued “—but I guess you deserve to know.” Joonmyeon wanted to stop him but Jongdae already started his story.

“Two months ago me and two other guys volunteered for a mission. Many people said it's suicide but we were all new and very determined to finally do something. To find a purpose to our sacrifices. So we did it. Two weeks ago we left the quarters, we had to take the long way around, through the forests of the twelve, constantly avoiding peacekeepers and other rebels, but we made it. We got to the Capitol two days ago. A guy working for us on the inside let us in through the gate. For two days we moved through the sewers, unseen. We didn't even see a single guard, not once. Than yesterday night we were taking a break, and Sehun fell asleep on his watch—” his voice quivered and he paused to even out his breathing.

Joonmyeon realised he was sitting at the edge of the bathtub gripping the railing tightly so that his knuckles whitened completely. He released the hold and said “It’s okay if you don’t want to finish. We don't have to do this.”

However Jongdae continued, disregarding the others words. “I think there was three of them, three peacekeepers patrolling the sewers at night. They snuck up on us while we were sleeping. I saw them beat up Jongin hard and— and they tackled Sehun to the ground.” he had tears streaming down his cheeks again. “I wanted to help. Maybe if i stayed I could have saved them, but no, I run. Like a coward. One of them tried to chase me. He threw a knife at me.” He said pointing at the wound. “I managed to escape. The rest is just a blur. I remember exiting the underground and then rows and rows of doors houses and doors. I didn't know what to do. I could have tried to save them. ” he broke into quiet sobs for the second time since they met.

This time it felt different for Joonmyeon. It felt like Jongdae willingly decided to entrust him with that part of his soul. A fragile and painful experience that somehow tightened the bond between them. He didn't hesitate this time stretching out his hand to put it on Jongdae's shoulder. Than he climbed into the bathtub next to the shivering man and put his arms round him, rubbing soothing circles into the others back.

“Shh, it’s going to be okay.” and “It was not your fault.” He whispered those two sentences over and over again feeling Jongdae's tears soak into the material of his linen blue shirt. They stayed this way, Jongdae's body curled up against Joonmyeon’s side, until the others breaths evened out as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

\---

After this incident they managed to fall into an easy routine. Joonmyeon would wake up in the morning, they would spend the day together, talking and laughing. Jongdae was getting better day by day and the wound on his arm was healing quickly. As time passed they also got to know each other better.

They would talk often but never touching up on any of the sensitive topics. Joonmyeon was surprised how quickly Jongdae realised which questions should never be asked and which conversations to avoid. It was almost as if they had known eachother forever. They would spend hours, on the floor of Joonmyeon’s bathroom, leaning against the wall in between the sink and the bathtub, telling each other stories from their childhood, talking about their favourite food and weather. Joonmyeon would often notice the slight tension, a longing appearing in Jongdae eyes whenever the topic started nearing anything conceded to his family. He didn't press on and usually just quickly retreated from the discussion before the other even realised.

Joonmyeon’s sudden departure from all social life however didn't pass unnoticed by the rest of society. Curious looks thrown toward his apartment by neighbours were clearly visible whenever he looked out a kitchen or bedroom window. Joonmyeon started realising how strange and suspicious his behaviour must have been and that he was not nearly carefully enough. 

In the Capitol gossip was everything. Usually it could not only be harmful but even cost you your life. A flash of a face seen by a neighbour in the window, a suspiciously looking package on your floor. Any wrong step could be disastrous to your reputation. This time Joonmyeon decided to use it to his benefit.

The morning of the third day Jongdae was spending in his house Joonmyeon picked up a phone and dialed a number. Someone on the other end picked it up after the third signal.

“Myeonie? Oh so you are alive after all? I was worried. You didn't answer any if my calls and—” Joonmyeon stopped the man's rambling.

“I'm sorry Chanyeol. I wish I talked to you earlier.” Park Chanyeol, known for his indiscreet behaviour and ability to repeat your deepest secrets to anyone who was interested to listen, also happened to be Joonmyeon’s best friend. If the phrase best friend even mean anything in the Capitol. In the environment of mutual distrust they never shared any deep personal information, so he could never say if he really knew Chanyeol or the facade he put up for a show, but they seemed to get along well and the others kind heart usually won Joonmyeon over. However no matter how much he appreciated Chanyeol’s company he knew one thing. Never trust Chanyeol with any information you don't want to share with the whole world. Today this might come in handy for the first time.

Joonmyeon cleared his throat and continued “I have just been really sick for the past three days and I was feeling pretty bad all the time.”

“Oh my god are you okay? You'll be alright yeah? Can I help you. Cause you know I could come and give you a hand or bring some of the magical healing food they sell in the centre now or—” 

Joonmyeon felt bad for lying to Chanyeol but for god's sake he couldn't tell him he is hiding a wanted rebel in his bathroom. “No Chanyeol, I'll be alright, thank you.” his voice sounded suspiciously polite through the wire and even he felt Chanyeol’s surprise arising on the other side. 

“Okay if you say so—” he didn't sound convinced at all but here was nothing more Joonmyeon could do about it now.

“So anyway, listen” Joonmyeon continued “I'll be probably in bed for the rest of the week until I feel better. I don't think I will leave.” Joonmyeon realised this didn't sound very convincing, even to Chanyeol but he had no other ideas.

“What? But on friday there is the summer solstice party? You won't be there Myeonnie? You were so excited.” Chanyeol's deep voice was now slightly high pitched and Joonmyeon’s could hear disbelief hidden between his words.

Joonmyeon felt a little bit nauseated. The summer solstice party. If someone had asked him about this only four days ago, he would say he anticipated this event. So many things have changed since four days ago though. Jongdae's stories about unfair, even similar to slavery, treatment of the citizens of the districts started to fill him with more and more disgust towards Capitol’s luxury.

He remembered golden tables filled with food presented on golden plates, than Jongdae's words about people starving on the streets and that sadness glistening in his eyes as if he personally knew that pain. For some reson imaging Jongdae suffer in any way, for any reason caused him almost physical pain. 

“Myeonie? ”He snapped out of his thoughts realising he didn't respond to Chanyeol’s question.

“No I don’t think I’ll come. I just don't think I will feel well enough.” the images of poverty and suffering were still flashing before his eyes so he said his goodbyes to Chanyeol quickly and hang up, accompanied by Chanyeol's shouts of “That's so sad!” and “Please get well soon!”

He sad down for awhile feeling tears welling up in his eyes. All that suffering everywhere just so that a small group of people can get their meal on golden plates and dance the night away to wake up the next day and do the same again.

He remembered that one day spend in District eleven, the people he seen in the distance, their pained expressions. Back than he though that simply something bad has happened to them. A small child sensible to others suffering. Now he was wondering whether there was a day their faces didn't wear that sadness.

The door to the bathroom opened a bit and Jongdae's head appeared peeking through the small opening. “You alright?” Joonmyeon quickly started wiping away the tears that now openly flowed down his cheeks with the sleeves of his shirt.  
“Yeah, yeah I'm fine.” he knew well that Jongdae realised better than anyone ever did that nothing was fine, not really. Jongdae's eyes narrowed and he gestured for him to come closer. Joonmyeon still wiping the water trails from his cheeks entered the bathroom and sat down heavily on his toilet.

“Now tell me what is happening?” Jongdae looked seriously concerned and his eyes were shining with a dangerous light.

Joonmyeon shook his head “It's just me being stupid. Nothing else.”

“Than I want to hear about you being stupid” Jongdae looked into his eyes with a dose of seriousness. There was such overwhelming kindness inside of his brown irises Joonmyeon broke and told him. Told him the story of his twelve year old self, the day he spend in the eleventh district, the college of sad faces and the feeling of guilt that overwhelmed him now.

“I didn't do anything. I just came back to my life, my silk cushions and golden plates.” he was sobbing into the palms of his hands. He felt Jongdae's hand on his shoulder and then his arms closing around his back as the other hugged him. When Jongdae spoke he could feel his voice resonating in his body. 

“You couldn't possibly do anything, you were just a child, but if it makes you feel better—” he took a deep breath before continuing “If it makes you feel better—you saved me. You did what you could to save another human being, and that is more than anyone else in this city ever accomplished.”

The heat of Jongdae's body worked as an anesthetic slowly wiping all the pain from Joonmyeon’s body. He suddenly realised he barely knew this man. He only met him three days ago, but the bond formed between them two felt like nothing he ever knew before in his life. The phenomenon of how Jongdae knew just exactly what to do and say, that the thought of his suffering pained him more than anything and that his touch alone was enough to make Joonmyeon’s pain dissipate completely.

He reluctantly pulled away from Jongdae and smiled slightly. He knew he didn't have to say anything and the other would understand anyway but he said it anyway. 

“Thank you”

Jongdae's smile widened even more. He opened his mouth to say something.

However before he managed to a knocking sounded loudly on Joonmyeon's door.

Joonmyeon jumped up in surprise. He had no idea who could it be and his brain started panicking going through all the possible scenarios at great speed.

The neighbours, the peacekeepers, even president Snow. He looked at Jongdae with fear in his eyes but the other tried to not lose his mind. He gave Joonmyeon a reassuring squeeze on the arm and whispered “Go and check who it is. It’s probably nothing important anyway.”

Joonmyeon nodded slightly and whispered back “Stay here okay?” Jongdae confirmed with another nod and Joonmyeon left the bathroom closing the door after himself and turning off the bathroom lights. He walked towards the door with a heart pounding loudly in his chest. Taking a deep breath he pushed the door handle. 

He didn't manage to note who was outside his door when he got immediately knocked down to the ground by tall figure with a pair of long arms. Chanyeol burst through the door and was now trying to hug him and help him up to his feet simultaneously. 

“Oh I'm sorry Myeonnie. I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I'm so, so sorry.” Chanyeol sounded as if he was about to cry. Joonmyeon smiled against his will. The thought that Chanyeol actually came out of his way to check up on him was heartwarming. He got up to his feet grabbing onto Chanyeol's hand. 

“I'm fine Yeol. Seriously.” he smoothed out the wrinkled shirt with his hands.

Chanyeol handed him a plastic bag full of grocery items. “I thought you might want some food—and I made you a stew. So you can get better and all.” Chanyeol was pouncing around nervously from leg to leg.

Joonmyeon felt a rush of affection towards the giant. He smiled widely. “Thank you. Would you like to have some tea?” He said still grinning but became serious again as the words came out of his mouth and he realised his mistake. 

Chanyeol nodded and grinned enthusiastically “Yeah that would be nice! Oh my god thank you!” he started skipping towards the kitchen excitedly. Joonmyeon followed him closely all the way through. He made a mistake when his polite nature took over his instincts and he knew it. Now he needed to make sure Chanyeol never reaches the bathroom.

Joonmyeon knew that Chanyeol himself was not a danger, it was difficult to come by any similarly gentle individuals, but his big mouth suddenly was. Any, even a passing remark made by Chanyeol, could cost both Joonmyeon and Jongdae their lives.

Chanyeol sat down on the small stool at the kitchen bar and Joonmyeon turned around to put on the kettle. Both of them were silent and Joonmyeon busied himself by watching swirls of water vapour fly into the air listening to the calming whisper of the slowly boiling liquid. His thoughts went back to Jongdae and their earlier interrupted conversation. 

He felt the same warm feeling spreading inside his chest whenever he remembered the others happy and understanding smiles. It was so unusual to form any bonds that seemed real in this world and the one he felt he had with Jongdae was like nothing he had known before. Formed quickly, but in the fire of the moment it transformed into something unbreakable, and increasing in strength by the minute, like cooling down hot iron rods.

The vision of Jongdae's face dissolved in front of his eyes as he heard a scream coming from behind him. He turned around sharply just to notice Chanyeol was no longer sitting beside. He sprinted towards the corridor only to find the bathroom door open and Chanyeol standing in the doorway with his mouth wide open.

“Sorry I didn't mean—I mean I did mean—I just wanted to use the bathroom—Sorry” he babbled, his tongue losing and distorting his own words.

Joonmyeon looked inside to see the face that was on his mind just a while ago, now wearing a scared and surprised expression. Looking at both of his friends staring at each other in surprise he decided he has to act quickly before everything gets out of his control.

“Eh—this is my friend Chanyeol—Chanyeol this is—this is—” he didn't know whether he should lie about Jongdae's name. The other got up from the floor fast and stretched his hand out towards Chanyeol “Jongdae.” Chanyeol squeezed it but you could see that both of their palms were trembling.

“Wouldn't it be easier if we told im the whole truth?” Jongdae heard a fair share of stories about Chanyeol during the few days they spend together. He probably realised just as Joonmyeon already did that in this situation, the best thing to do was to tell him everything and hope Chanyeol can keep a secret under real pressure.

So that's what they did. They told him everything, maybe missing out on a few details such as Jongdae falling asleep in Joonmyeon’s arms and their morning hug, but it wasn’t important anyway right?

\---------

Chanyeol left after a few hours wearing a tired expression of a man who was endowed with way too many secrets.

He agreed to help spread the news about Joonmyeon being sick and promised to do his best and not mention Jongdae's presence to anyone else. Joonmyeon was so grateful for those favours he hugged the other tightly when he was leaving.

“I will never forget this.” he said when retreating from the hug.

“If you find any more of those smoking hot rebels anywhere you can just leave one for me. That will be enough of a payback.” Chanyeol said half joking but when he looked first at Jongdae and then at Joonmyeon a playful grin was playing on his face.

They stayed alone once again when the door to his apartment closed behind Chanyeol. Joonmyeon sat heavily on the floor of the bathroom sighing heavily “If so sorry, I'm such an idiot. I should have never let that happen.”

Jongdae smiled “Eh, don't worry at least he was nice. Not like those guys that were chasing me with knives around the city. Very rude.” Joonmyeon couldn't suppress a small laugh even though he knew Jongdae's attempt at humour was underlined with fear. “Although you're still the strongest pretender to the prize of “the smartest capitol citizen I know. Nothing has changed in that department.”

Joonmyeon couldn't help but grin at this sudden compliment. “You would get quite a few titles yourself If I started counting.” he said trying not to blush too hard at this sudden exchange.

Jongdae's cheeks suddenly turned bright red as he turned his head towards the wall clearly embarrassed. Joonmyeon decided to no press further on this topic.

He cleared his throat and decided to go back to discussing their general safety. “So let's just hope Chanyeol will not tell anybody about the face I'm hiding a refugee on the floor of my bathroom.” 

Jongdae was still trying to cover the intense blush on his cheek with the palm of his hand. “Yeah that would be very unfortunate indeed.”

Chanyeol's visit took a while and now they were just sitting on the floor as the sky outside grew darker by the minute. “We should probably get some sleep” Joonmyeon said yawning.

Jongdae nodded his head. “Can you move a little bit to the right? I’d like to sleep on the floor this time. To be honest the bathtub is not exactly long enough. My legs need a break from it.”

Joonmyeon smiled slightly. “Yeah sure.” He moved his blankets towards the wall and Jongdae took the sheets and pillows out of the bathtub and laid them on the ground next to Joonmyeon’s. He turned off the lights and they both lied down on the ground on their sides and facing each other.

The door to the bathroom was open and the kitchen windows let through some streetlight mixed with moonlight onto the bathroom floor lighting up both of their faces. In this light Jongdae’s face looked even paler and prettier and his eyes were shining with this inner light, the golden specks lighting up the otherwise dark irises. Joonmyeon couldn’t get enough of this view, watching the other, completely losing himself in those eyes.

Jongdae was also watching him closely. After a few minutes he opened his mouth slightly and licked his lips with the tip of his tongue as if preparing for what he was about to say next. “What if we get caught? What then?” in the silence of the bathroom his voice sounded almost sinister.

Joonmyeon had to think about the answer for a while. “Than we will just find a new way out.” 

Jongdae chuckled “This doesn’t even sound like a plan at all.”

“Do you have any better ideas?”

Jongdae shook his head still laughing slightly. “Not really.”

Somewhere between their smiles, rhythmic breaths and heartbeats Jongdae's hand found Joonmyeon’s and squeezed it tightly. They fell asleep soothed by each others warm presence.

\-------------

Next morning when Joonmyeon opened his eyes Jongdae wasn't next to him, in fact he was nowhere to be seen. He felt his heart pounding as he left the bathroom sprinting out to the corridor.

He saw him just immediately after leaving the bathroom, sitting on the floor of his bedroom in front of the closet. The blinds on the windows were drawn and the only light illuminating his face was the red glow from the radio that was previously hidden under a pile of Joonmyeon’s clothes. 

Jongdae was staring at it intensely, tears flowing down his cheeks. The voice, the same voice Joonmyeon heard four days ago, desperately pleading for help, now more calm and composed was coming out of the device.

“—two of the captured rebels are now being held by the capitol. The third one has escaped and we believe is now hiding somewhere. If anyone has any information regarding the survivor or the two hostages please contact us immediately.”

Jongdae whispered stretching out his hand towards the radio receiver “Kyungsoo—”

“You know this guy?” Joonmyeon was surprised by the extreme coincidences that kept happening around them.

“Yes he was a part of my team, before we left that is.” Jongdae answered but for the first time since they met he could feel a definite hostility in his voice. “Before you came in he said they've been transmitting this message since right after the battle ensued. One of them, Jongin or Sehun, had to send a message somehow that they are still alive—” he directed his gaze towards Joonmyeon’s scared face and suddenly a flash of understanding crossed his face.

“You knew! You knew all along they are not dead and you didn’t tell me?” he got up from the ground clenching his fists. 

Joonmyeon took a step back trying to defend himself “I didn't know exactly, this guy Kyungsoo, said something happened but didn't specify the details. He was just calling for help.”

Jongdae’s knuckles whitened and his lips slightly livid “Calling for help? And what did you do? Nothing. You did nothing!” his voice gained on strength as he spoke.

“I helped you!” now Joonmyeon was also shouting. “I got you off my balcony, got you to safety. I risked everything!”

“Everything yeah? And what about them? What about Jongin and Sehun?” Joonmyeon could feel real pain in his voice “You could have gotten them out! You had to wait until I dropped straight onto your balcony to even consider getting involved, because going out of your way to help somebody was too much?”

“I just didn't think there was a reason to pointlessly risk my life—” Joonmyeon realized what he just said only after the words left his mouth but it was too late to take it back now.

This comment seemed to cause Jongdae physical pain “Pointlessly? So that’s all they are for you? Pointless?” He had tears streaming down his red cheeks and dropping to the wooden floor. “Just another two rebels, worthless lives, with no meaning.”

“That's not what I meant—I—” Joonmyeon tried to explain but with no effect.

Jongdae interrupted him halfway through the sentence “I don’t care what you meant! I’ll wait till sunset and I will leave. I’ll go to help them, like a real friend would.” He took a deep breath as if preparing for what he was about to say next “I won’t bother you again anymore.”

Now Joonmyeon felt a sudden rush of fear spread over his whole body. “Don't Jongdae, please, they will catch you” his voice was trembling. He could feel this desperation arising within, pushing him towards one goal only. To stop Jongdae “and then they will most definitely kill you.”

“Kill me? Or maybe it’s yourself that you’re so worried about?” Jongdae snorted “Joonmyeon a precious great citizen of the capitol.” he said, high voice mocking and incredibly high pitched. “How can you live with yourself? You call them murderers” he made a general gesture towards the windows. “yet you’re not any better! Doing everything just to save your own skin. I hate you!”

Joonmyeon felt those words, sharp like shards of glass, digging into his entire body. Even his father's death hasn't pained him so much. Like a piece of his heart was suddenly ripped directly from his body and irreplaceably disappeared in the darkness.

“Fine, go. Take anything you need. I will leave the house and come back after sunset. When I’ll be back home I want you to be gone.” He wanted to tell him to never come back, that he hates him too but those words didn’t want to cross though his lips.

As if in a trance Joonmyeon turned around, grabbed a coat from his closet and shut the door behind him, leaving Jongdae crying tears of pain and regret behind.

\-----

He wandered the streets alone and the guilt inside his heart was just growing with every minute. He should have stayed, he should have talked to him, he should have helped. Maybe together they would have a chance. If Jongdae goes alone he will most probably die. Even the thought of this made his head spin and tears gather in the corners of his eyes.

Than again, was he ready to throw his life away so recklessly? Risking it for two strangers he never even met? Something deep inside he heard a voice calling to him. It's not only their life you would be saving! Its also Jongdae's!

Didn't the other tell him to leave him alone? Didnt he say he wanted to go alone? Somewhere deep inside he knew that none of the words Jongdae threw at him in the fit of anger were true, but he still couldn't bring himself to turn around back towards his flat.

He walked on down streets and alleys. The sun was just starting to near the horizons so he needed to find something to do for at least the next two hours.

What day was it today anyway? Lost in the clam and relaxed days he spend by Jongdae's side, filled with light conversations, stupid jokes, and the others presence, he forgot how many days have passed since they met. Three, four, or maybe a whole week?

Than suddenly he looked up and a saw a huge commercial hanging on the wall of the nearby building. A yellow circle of the sun was rising above the city painted red on canvas and stretched across a building wall. “Summer solstice party” a huge golden words were shining on top.

Joonmyeon stared at it until he remembered. It's today. The party. He shook his head and turned around. He was not exactly in the party mood, but than again, Chanyeol will probably be there. He could really use some human company right now, even if he won't be actually able to tell the other what happened.

Now that Jongdae will be gone from his life he will have to get back into the social life again. For both of their good. If everyone believes he really was sick for the past few days maybe Jongdae will be safe.

Joonmyeon remembered he had left his costume at home and he was not very fond of going back there. He will have to buy a new one. He looked down at his feet and realised he left his house in flip flops. Only now he started noticing weird glances all passerby were throwing him. Joonmyeon quickly turned left and went into the first clothing shop spotted on the side of the street. 

Half an hour later he was walking down the streets with a shopping bag containing a flashy golden outfit, a pair of new shoes and a mask, in his hand. He quickly threw the shiny coat over his clothes in a deserted alley and joined the crowd pouring through the door of the huge building and taking the elevator to the last floor.

\---

The summer solstice party was a yearly event that took place on the longest day of the year and was supposedly an honour to the sun, which the citizens of the Capitol treated with an almost grotesque respect. The main element distinguishing it from the chain of parties lasting thought the year was the anonymity every guest was supposedly allowed to maintain. Masks placed on faces of the participants, flashy hairstyles and outfits successfully prevented people from recognizing even their best friends in this glittering crowd.

Joonmyeon moved around the huge room filled with thousands of people. All of them had their faces covered with masks and the colors of the outfits ranged from pale lemon yellow, through intensely shining golden all the way to a dark scarlet. The whole room was decorated in a similar fashion. On the left stood a long buffet table filled with food and small round tables were scattered across the room. A band consisting of four dressed up man and woman was playing cheerful songs from the stage set up on the far end.

Joonmyeon didn't pay a lot of attention to all that splendor and once again felt slight disgust arising inside of him. Those thoughts brought back the image of Jongdae and the last words he heard falling from his mouth and he had to really focus to not start crying right there and then. He looked around trying to find Chanyeol. It was not easy, taking into consideration the amount of people and their covered faces but Chanyeol's height proved yet again to be a very useful characteristic.

Joonmyeon started walking in his direction hearing his low and loud voice drifting over the crowd from the other side of the room when he talked to a rather big group of people. Joonmyeon also recognized voices of a few other people that often called themselves his friends.

A short woman standing on the right stopped her hysterical laughter just to turn to Chanyeol and asked “How about you Mister Park, have you found someone yet?”

Chanyeol laughed politely and shook his head “No, but I think I will have to ask Joonmyeon for advice, He seems to have a lot of luck in having the best men just turn up at his doorstep.” Joonmyeon was now very close to the group but this caused him to freeze in his tracks.

The lady raised her eyebrows “What do you mean by turn up, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol still oblivious to how much damage his words could cause continued his story “Well, this guy that showed up in his house a few days ago is quite a charmer. Myeonnie was very nice he helped him. He—” suddenly he stopped halfway through the sentence as if remembering the promise he made only the previous day.

The crowd gathered around Chanyeol froze immediately as everyone was staring at the taller man’s terrified expression. One of the man standing to the far right of the gathering turned around and started making his way across the room towards the exit. Joonmyeon turned around on a hunch and started following him along only to see the other stop by a group of peacekeepers gathered by the door, lean in and say in a hushed tone “Send a unit to Kim Joonmyeon’s house.”

Thirty seconds later Joonmyeon was sprinting down the stairs, not daring to call an elevator, a breath hitched in his throat. He could still hear the voices in his head “Send out a unit to Kim Joonmyeon’s house.”

Jongdae was still there. It was an hour till sundown and there was no way he already left the house. If he doesn't warn him. Those words hung in the silence disrupted only by the sound of his heavy breathing. He couldn't think about what would happen then.

Joonmyeon reached the bottom floor and slipped out of the hotel trying to avoid any cameras with a view of the lobby. He started running down the streets stumbling over his long golden coat. He took it off and threw it to the side, not stopping even for a while.

Usually he had to spend an hour walking to his house from the centre. This time it took him just ten minutes to run the same distance. Every second of those ten minutes, panic was filling his heart. He couldn't throw out the vision of Jongdae's face falling apart into tiny little pieces just in front of his eyes.

Somewhere along that crazy run he started to slowly understand things. Those past four days changed his life. Jongdae's appearance did. The very moment he decided to help, Joonmyeon stopped living a life of fear and denial. Every day since his father's death he was longing to leave this safety bubble he created for himself and it only happened now. Finally he stopped hating himself for the way he lived.

He reached the house but a group of peacekeepers already gathered around near the entrance. There was no way he could sneak past them. Joonmyeon looked around and remembered a maintenance road leading to the small square of green space behind his window. He run across the deserted street when everyone seemed to be looking in another direction and trailed along a wall of a neighbouring house.

Those previous twenty years of his life were comfortable, but only now he realised he was never close to being happy. 

He reached the back of the house and looked up to the open balcony door leading up to his apartment. To the balcony situated five floors above where he was standing. Being left with no other choice he started climbing. He jumped up to the first balcony and standing on the railing grabbed the edge of the one above. He pulled himself up with difficulty, jumped across the barrier and dropped panting onto the floor.

All of the flats were empty as people attending the solstice party abandoned their houses and left them unguarded for just one night. For the first time in a few days he was grateful this event was being organized that night.

Joonmyeon got up and repeated the procedure another tto times finding himself on the fourth floor. Sweat was covering his temples, palms of his hands started bleeding slightly from the friction and muscles of his arms were burning from the unexpected efforts.

Just one more. He grabbed the edge of the next balcony and tried to pull himself up but his tired body didn't want to obey. He dropped back down hanging on his outstretched arms ten meters above the ground.

He wanted to call Jongdae's name, but just behind the corner dozens of peacekeepers probably waited for just the smallest reason to bash through his doors. Hanging over there with just meters to go he felt a sudden rush of adrenaline.

He was living a life of a coward, but someone saved him. Someone appeared just in time to help and now he was going to be the one doing the saving. He was going do it, because Jongdae deserved it. He deserved it for how hard life has treated him, deserved it for all his smiles and his tears, for all his determination. Joonmyeon owed him that but he also owed that to himself. A final shot at real happiness. No more fear.

With a last push of his will he dragged himself up straining all the muscles in his body motivated by the mental images of Jongdae's suffering. He fell onto the cold tiles of his own balcony panting loudly, his palms now bleeding and leaving red trails on the floor. The balcony door was still open the same way he left it the previous evening. He pushed it open with both of his hands, run inside and almost instantly heard a heavy banging to the main door to his apartment.

He run through the living room towards the main door and saw Jongdae standing in the middle of the hallway with his mouth half open, fear clearly painted on his face, staring at the door. The banging intensified. Joonmyeon grabbed Jongdae's arm and shoved him into his bedroom. He only managed to see intense surprise painted on Jongdae's face before shutting the door closed. He undid his night robe and slightly tousled his hair around and then rushed to the door to open it. He was met with a crowd of peacekeepers and dozens of guns pointed at his face as he peeked through the door.

The guy holding a rifle of the gun straight up into his face looked at him with surprise clearly painted on his face. Joonmyeon had to gather all his mental strength and remains of sanity he had left. He raised his eyebrow and looked at the man in front of him with visible disgust and dominance so characteristic to rich capitol citizens.

“What is happening here” he heard people use this tone so many times and he managed to put equal amounts of surprise, impatience and annoyance, making the guards lower their weapons. 

“We—” the peacekeeper clearly didn't know what to do in this situation. Expecting a wild refugee but being met with a dissatisfied, grumpy and rich Joonmyeon. “We received information that an illegal—eee—refugee is being currently hidden in this house.”

Joonmyeon was sweating profusely but ha managed to keep a straight face “What kind of a crazy insinuation is that? Hiding someone in my house?” he made a pause for better effect “Are all of you looking for trouble with the president. Cause I will surely mention this small invasion on my privacy next time we meet.”

The peacekeepers were definitely losing the resolve to search his apartment as they exchanged worried and uncertain looks. The fear of doing the wrong thing and potentially risking their own reputation took over their professionalism.

The man standing at the front scratched his head slightly. “Um—would you mind if we just took a quick look? To make sure you're safe Sir?”

Joonmyeon made an even more impatient face, rolling his eyes as if he wanted to say “So incompetent” but moved to the side opening the door and letting two peacekeepers inside. He really hoped Jongdae managed to find some at least temporary hideout in his bedroom. 

Standing with his back against the wall to hide his still bleeding palms he watched the two men cross the corridor, peek into the bathroom and the living room. One of them turned towards the bedroom, and Joonmyeon’s heart stopped for a while when he pressed the doorknob but when the door opened slowly the room seemed empty. Both peacekeepers came back looking surprised but relieved at the same time.

“Everything looks fine Sir. We're very sorry we bothered you at all.”

Joonmyeon shrugged “I hope it was the last time.” They all nodded enthusiastically and left through the door. Joonmyeon closed them and turned the lock two times. He counted to three trying to catch his breath then turned around and sprinted into his bedroom.

The door of his closet opened with a quiet squeak and Jongdae carefully peeked through the small opening. “Are they gon—” he didn't manage to finish his sentences as Joonmyeon threw himself forward wrapping his arms around the others neck hugging him tightly with his shaking hands. He buried his face in the crook of Jongdae's neck inhaling the sweet scent of his skin deep into his lungs. Tears were streaming down his cheeks as he repeated continuously “Oh thanks god, you're alright, you’re alright.”

Jongdae was shaking slightly as he moved backwards a little bit to look at Joonmyeon’s face. His right hand grabbed Joonmyeon’s chin and with the other he started wiping the tears from his eyes, his thumbs slowly skidding over Joonmyeon’s soft skin.

Like hypnotised Joonmyeon leaned forward and pressed his lips against Jongdae's slowly and hesitantly. Jongdae didn't react, his eyes closed and breathing ragged and accelerated. Joonmyeon pulled back instantly, panic gracing his features “I'm sorry, I—I didn’t mean—”

He didn't manage to finish the sentence because Jongdae was kissing him with such conviction that Joonmyeon stumbled backwards almost tripping over his own feet. Jongdae's arms steadied him, holding him firmly in place and Joonmyeon’s insides stirred when he felt Jongdae's tongue licking at his mouth and his teeth slowly grazing his bottom lip. He backed the other against the wall of his bedroom and framed Jongdae's face with his fingers. His palms skimmed across Jongdae's perfect cheekbones and his eyelids, leaving bloody trails all across the other features. However Jongdae didn’t seem to mind as he desperately deepened the kiss.

Joonmyeon kissed people before but this felt like something much more than just a kiss. A warm sensation inside his chest intensified with every second, just as if parts of Jongdae's soul slowly deposited inside his body, to stay there forever. Just as if every second spend this close to Jongdae healed his damaged soul bit by bit, patching up the holes left behind by harsh experiences. Suddenly he felt a giant rush of affection towards the other flood his senses and settle down deep within his heart.

A few minutes later they were lying on the ground in silence, Joonmyeon’s head resting against the others chest while he listened to Jongdae’s rhythmic heartbeat and Jongdae's fingers threading through Joonmyeon’s hair. 

“I think we should get out of here while we still can, but I have no idea where we could go.” Jongdae’s hand stopped in its movements, settling itself at the back of Joonmyeon’s neck.

Joonmyeon raised his head and turned around to lie on his stomach, placing his palms on Jongdae’s shoulder and resting his chin on his palms. “I already told you before that everything will be fine as long as we’re together.”

Jongdae shook his head “Yet you’re the one who keeps saving my life.”

Joonmyeon wanted to cry because he realised he will never be able to tell Jongdae how grateful he really was for his presence. Instead he just said “I wouldn't be able to save you if you didn't save me first.“

Jongdae was not smiling anymore “I didn't do anything. I am a useless piece of trash. I shouldn't be calling myself a rebel.” he looked sadly down at Joonmyeon “I’m so sorry for what I said before. I didn't mean any of it, not really. I—” he tried to continue his apologies but Joonmyeon leaned forwards and kissed him slowly to shut him up. 

“I know” he whispered quietly into his lips. “I knew since I left.” he kissed Jongdae one more time and then pulled back, a smile lingering on his lips. “I also have an idea where we might try spending the night.” 

\----

Sneaking out of Joonmyeon’s house was more difficult than Jongdae expected. The outside of was still being patrolled by a small regiment of peacekeepers and Joonmyeon strongly refused to climb down the balcony route. The only way left for them to take was up. They both changed their clothes into more comfortable and packed a few days worth of supplies into two backpacks.

When they were leaving, Joonmyeon stopped in the doorway to turn around and look at his flat once more. Jongdae knew well what the other was thinking. Leaving meant there was probably no going back.

“You don't have to come with me.” he whispered looking deep into the others eyes.

Joonmyeon shook his head “No way you’re going alone. I just wanted to take a last look at what I am leaving behind to make sure I won't regret it.”

Jongdae raised his eyebrows “And what is your conclusion?”

Joonmyeon smirked shutting the door behind himself “That you are a much better view.”

Jongdae chuckled quietly and followed the other up the stairs to reach the final floor. They went through the hatch in the ceiling and found themselves on a moonlit roof. They walked hand in hand across the rooftops. The silence around them felt comfortable, almost as if they both forgot about the deadly danger awaiting them at every corner.

Jongdae felt the tips of Joonmyeon’s fingers brush alongside his palm a few times and he couldn't help a small smile forming on his face. He went back to the events of this evening; to their argument and to their kiss. Still even now after the adrenaline of the moment wore off he couldn't quite comprehend what happened. He couldn't ignore the butterflies in his stomach every time he thought about Joonmyeon but at the same time he was afraid. Afraid that their ‘relationship’ could somehow put the other in danger. 

Jongdae watched Joonmyeon knock on Chanyeol's door an hour later. The door opened slowly and Chanyeol's head with tousled hair and half opened eyes peeked through. The moment he saw Joonmyeon and Jongdae on his doorstep his eyes opened widely and he opened the door to let them in. He gripped the collar of Joonmyeon’s shirt and dragged him through the doorway. Jongdae followed quickly and the door shut behind them. Chanyeol turned on the light on the corridor and threw himself at Joonmyeon, hugging him tightly.

“Oh my god Myeonnie, are you okay? I thought something happened to you, because I said something and I didn't want to—” he started rambling with a shaky voice.

Joonmyeon pulled back from Chanyeol’s embrace laughing slightly. “We’re fine now, although I have to admit it was close.”

Chanyeol looked as if he was about to start crying any minute. Jongdae approached him and laid a hand on his shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“We need a place to stay because Joonmyeon’s apartment is not safe anymore. Can we stay here?” Jongdae felt a little bit guilty about asking the other this question. Staying at this house for longer could put Chanyeol in danger. However they did not have a choice.

Chanyeol nodded vigorously and his hair rocked with his movements “Yeah sure! I will do anything to make it up to you! It's all my fault.”

Jongdae saw Joonmyeon’s face flinch a little and he realized that the other is blaming Chanyeol despite his own will. He decided to intervene to prevent a possible argument. “Thank you so much Chanyeol. We will just stay one night and we will never bother you again.”

Chanyeol nodded again. “I will prepare something to sleep on for you.” he turned around and disappeared inside the bedroom. Jongdae looked at Joonmyeon taking a very first look at him in a proper light since this morning. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes and dirty hair, but also much more determined and resolved. There was this dangerous aura to him. The same look Jongdae saw on faces of countless rebels after they cleansed themselves from the anger hidden in their souls. He really wanted to kiss him right there and then but instead he just reached out and interlocked his fingers with Joonmyeon’s.

Chanyeol came back almost instantly carrying two blankets and pillows. “It's ready.” he noticed their hands and smiled slightly to himself, turning around and walking away. They followed him into the bedroom and placed the sheets on the ground, at the feet of the bed. The lied down next to each other.

Jongdae squeezed Joonmyeon’s hand and they exchanged tired smiles. No more words were said but Jongdae took his time to appreciate every detail of the others face. He knew it might be the last time he will ever have a chance to do so. Joonmyeon’s tired eyes were closed now and his face suddenly relaxed as his breathing slowly started to even out.

Jongdae was long gone before the first beams of sunlight reached Chanyeol’s bedroom windows.

\---

Jongdae jumped down a ladder and closed the maintenance hatch behind him, shutting off the last source of light in the darkness of the sewers. The air down here was humid and his skin immediately covered with beads of sweat.

He reached to his backpack and took out the flashlight given to him by Joonmyeon earlier. The thoughts that he was trying so hard to push out of his mind appeared again. He knew that Joonmyeon will not like to be left behind but he also knew that the other stopped thinking about his own safety anymore. The only thing that mattered right now was to leave Joonmyeon in the safety of Chanyeol's apartment.

He turned on the flashlight and chose to follow the path leading right which seemed to follow through towards the centre of the city. The walls and floors of the tunnel were slippery and he had to cautiously take every step. Truth be told Jongdae had no idea where he was going.

Rid of Joonmyeon’s expertise and knowledge of the city he was left with no realistic chances of finding Sehun and Jongin. He had to at least try. From what Kyungsoo said over the radio he assumed some kind of rescue operation was underway. He still had a chance at saving the other two.

He reached to his bag and took out the map of the underground he stole from Chanyeol's apartment. Trying to find the right path in the tangle of corridors, was not easy even with the help of a map.

The endless maze stretched in front of him and Jongdae started feeling more and more dizzy with every step. Somewhere at the back of his mind a clock was ticking constantly and counting down the seconds. Tears started flowing down his cheeks as Jongdae slowly made his way underneath the city..

\----

Joonmyeon woke up in the morning only to find the space next to him empty.  
He didn't even have to get up to know Jongdae was gone. It still didn't stop him from fumbling through the apartment and collapsing onto the corridor floor screaming the others name until Chanyeol run out from his bedroom.

“What is happening Myeon, would you stop screaming please.” he seemed weirdly composed for a person that just woke up to someone's screams.

Joonmyeon’s looked at him with red eyes and whispered “He is gone. Gone!”

Chanyeol raised his eyebrows “Joonmyeon, sometimes I can’t believe you are your father's son.”

Joonmyeon’s looked at him questioningly “Wha—”

Chanyeol interrupted him half sentence “Don't just sit on the floor crying, go and find him instead!” Chanyeol looked almost amused “He probably needs your help.”

“If he indeed needed my help he wouldn't leave me here alone, okay?” Joonmyeon snapped.

“You know nothing about people right?” Chanyeol chuckled again “That's exactly why he left you here alone! Just because he needs you, you stupid!”

Joonmyeon was looking at him with questioning eyes and a very unintelligible expression. Chanyeol was suddenly behaving very differently. He sighed “Even if you're right, how am I supposed to find him?”

“Why don't you ask the others?”

“Which others?” Joonmyeon still looked surprised beyond belief.

“The other rebels” Chanyeol pointed at the radio,identical to his, standing on a nightstand. “This device works both ways, you know?”

Joonmyeon approached hesitantly, staring at the device intensely. He reached for a button and turned it on with one flick of a switch. The red light started blinking again throwing shadows on both of their faces. Joonmyeon chose the frequency he knew so well and looked at Chanyeol search for encouragement. The other nodded nodded encouragingly so Joonmyeon took a deep breath and flicked the switch. The transmission began.

For a few seconds nothing was happening as Joonmyeon stared disappointedly at the radio. Then suddenly the speaker screeched and a slightly high pitched voice drifted towards them from the radio. “Soo! Soo, come here, we have transmission incoming!” A while later quiet footsteps and shuffling could be heard on the other side.

“Who is there?” the usual radio voice asked cautiously.

“It’s—um—It’s Joonmyeon.” Joonmyeon didn't really know what else to say. Chanyeol raised his eyebrows as if he was about to say “Well I’m sure that was very helpful.”

“Baekhyun, who the heck is Joonmyeon?” the man Jongdae addressed as Kyungsoo spoke.

“How would I know?” the man, probably Baekhyun, replied and Joonmyeon could see in his imagination a shrug that accompanied those words.

Joonmyeon cleared his throat and said “I’m Jongdae’s friend.”

A silence immediately ensued as everyone on the other side froze in surprise. After a while Baekhyun decided to break the silence.

“Am I wrong Soo, or does Jongdae have no friends? Or at least none of the alive ones?” in any other circumstance Joonmyeon would take it as a joke. However Baekhyun's voice was so serious he didn't doubt the other was being serious.

“I’m his new friend. Um—we met a few days ago that is. In The Capitol—” his sentence got interrupted by Kyungsoo’s sudden scream.

“Oh god, did you see him? Is he okay? Why didn’t he contact us earlie—”

“That doesn’t matter right now.” he could feel jealousy arising in his chest the moment he realised he was not the only one who cared about Jongdae, “What matters right now is that he is gone. Left on his own to look for the other two and we need to stop him.”

“Stop him? No one will be doing any stopping today,” Kyungsoo was almost screaming with despair “because we will be saving someone today. Yes, we will save everyone! Everyone!”

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun whispered soothingly and Joonmyeon could swear he heard quiet sobs in the background, “I know you worry about Jongin but we all need to keep it together.”

The boys on the other side were quiet for a while but when Kyungsoo spoke again Joonmyeon could hear cold resolve in his voice. “We are already underground in the city but to save anyone we need your help Joonmyeon.” he stopped for a while “We don’t know the city nor Jongdae’s possible plans. We need to meet somewhere recognisable without leaving the sewers. Any ideas?”

Joonmyeon opened his mouth to say something but Chanyeol was quicker. “Every sewers system in the city has signs leading along the main pipes all the way to the water main. They will be white arrows, usually drawn on the ceiling.” Chanyeol’s voice was unusually low.

“Who is that?” Baekhyun’s voice sounded way more than just curious.

“Em,” Chanyeol was clearly embarrassed, ”My name is Chanyeol. You just have to follow the signs to the main and we’ll meet you there.”

“We got ourselves a smart one, Soo!” Baekhyun shouted in the background.

Chanyeol blushed intensely to Joonmyeon’s amusement.“ Just get going already. The quicker we meet, the quicker we might find Jongdae.”

“Oh, he’s also a bossy one. I like him. Can I keep him please?” Joonmyeon didn't even know if Baekhyun realized Chanyeol could hear everything. 

Chanyeol blushed even more and was staring pointedly at the radio trying to come up with something intelligent to say. However Kyungsoo was quicker, “Okay, we will get going now. We found one of the arrows you were talking about. See you there.”

The transmission ended with a quiet blip and silence ensued in Chanyeol’s bedroom.

Joonmyeon cleared his throat embarrassed “I think I accidentally signed you up for a rescue operation of some kind? Sorry Yeol.”

Chanyeol shook his head “Truth be told, I have been willing to get out of this hell of a freak show for a long time now. Also we got Jongdae to save.”

Joonmyeon smirked and added “You’ll also get to meet Baekhyun.” Chanyeol almost smacked him in the face and his cheeks visibly reddened.

“Better let’s get going.” he said quickly getting up and collecting his stuff in a hurry, trying to avoid Joonmyeon’s amused gaze. They stuffed all the useful stuff into their backpacks and Chanyeol locked the door to his apartment for the last time.

\---

They both slid through the maintenance hatch behind Chanyeol's building, the same one Jongdae used a few hours ago. Chanyeol quickly found the arrows on the ceiling and they run along the slippery corridors. Racing with time or maybe just with their own fear.

By the time they reached the water main they were both panting heavily and trying to catch their breaths. Joonmyeon leaned against a wet wall resting his head against the cold stone and trying to steady his heartbeat. Chanyeol was coughing slightly and desperately trying to calm his ragged breathing. They stayed like this until they heard distant footsteps sounding from the corridor opposite. Chanyeol grabbed Joonmyeon’s arm and dragged him behind a wall hiding them temporarily from the eyes of whoever might have been approaching. The dim light from a singular lightbulb threw a circle of light onto a group young men, probably in their late teens. Two of them seemed to walk at the front leading the rest. The taller had sandy brown, slightly curly hair. The shorter one, black haired with a fringe falling with a dark curtain over his forehead, was holding the radio. Both of them were wearing black uniforms with a stitched mockingjay and a number eleven. The same one Joonmyeon seen on Jongdae before. He decided it was enough proof of their identity and stepped out from the shadow, Chanyeol following closely behind him.

For such a sudden appearance the group of men didn't seem very surprised to see them. The taller one opened his mouth and spoke with the slightly high pitched voice of Baekhyun.

“So, we did end up finding you after all. Congratulations on the great idea Chanyeol.” he eyed both of them as if trying to figure out their identities.

“That’s me” Chanyeol raised his hand awkwardly like a third grade student. Baekhyun’s amused gaze flickered all across his figure, stopping at his face.

“Nice to meet you.” Baekhyun shook Chanyeol’s hand. He reluctantly turned towards Joonmyeon but his gaze remained fixed on Chanyeol. “Than you must be Joonmyeon, Jongdae’s friend.” he stressed out the last word, as if it was particularly important.

Joonmyeon nodded his head but didn’t say anything else, trying to ignore the suspicious look Baekhyun was giving him. The shorter of the two stepped forward. “I’m Kyungsoo,” it didn't escape Joonmyeon’s attention how he didn’t try shaking their hands “you should also meet the rest of our crew.”

Kyungsoo was gesturing the two men standing in the entrance to the corridor. “Minseok,” he said pointing at a short blonde, wearing a pair of thick rimmed glasses, “and Yixing.” The other man was tall and dark haired and smiled shyly at Joonmyeon.

After the introductions were complete Kyungsoo turned towards them once again “I think it’s time to get down to business,” Chanyeol perked his head up at the mention of that, “but honestly I have no idea where to start.” Kyungsoo looked more than disappointed in himself.

“If I might say something,” Chanyeol was already raising his hand and all the eyes turned towards him, “the place you’re looking for, the cells where they are holding captured rebels, is in this direction. I can take you there.”

Baekhyun looked at him in awe but Kyungsoo remained sceptical. “How can you be so sure of this?”

“I might have done some planning before. Way back, before any of you even appeared in the city. Just in case I had to evacuate one day.” Chanyeol looked proud but abashed at the same time.

Kyungsoo didn't want to give up just yet. “Even if we find the cell where Jongin and Sehun are being held, we still have no idea where Jongdae might be.”

Chanyeol nodded his head. “That's true enough but we can predict his position with a big dose of probability.”

“And how are you planning to do that?” Minseok spoke up for the first time.

Chanyeol looked at Joonmyeon quickly before continuing “I might have-manipulated Jongdae a bit?” Joonmyeon flashed him a dangerous look “I expected he might try to escape. I planted him a map with a false route on it.”

“You knew he will leave? Why didn't you tell tell me! We could have stopped everything” Joonmyeon almost threw himself at Chanyeol.

Kyungsoo decided to interrupt their argument “I still don’t quite understand. How does that help us in finding him?”

“We know the route he will take. We can use some simple calculations based on average walking speed and the time he had to estimate where he might be right now.” Chanyeol said as if it was the most obvious thing.

Joonmyeon raised his eyebrows “And to think that for almost ten years I thought you were an apologetic, dumb dork.”

Chanyeol giggled “And to think that for ten years I thought you were a self obsessed heartless kid. I guess we all masked ourselves pretty well.”

Baekhyun was now looking straight at Chanyeol his mouth wide open. He wasn't even trying to hide the awe and fascination written all over his features.

Kyungsoo nodded cautiously “Okay let's say this is not the worst plan. Do you have the abilities to make the necessary calculations?”

Chanyeol look a bit insulted by the doubt hidden in Kyungsoo’s voice “Yes, actually I already did. According to it Jongdae should be reaching our destination in about thirty minutes.”

“What about us?”

“About twenty minutes with quick pace.”

A small “Wow” escaped Baekhyun's lips and Chanyeol's cheeks reddened even more.

“What are we waiting for than? Let's go.” Kyungsoo commandeered in a strict tone. Chanyeol turned around and followed by Baekhyun and Joonmyeon led the group down the dark corridors.

\---

Joonmyeon was walking a few meters behind Chanyeol and Baekhyun who seemed to be engaged in a conversation. Somewhere behind him he could hear Kyungsoo’s footsteps.

Baekhyun’s voice from the front reached his ears. “It's not that he is always like this. It's just because of Jongin.”

“Jongin?”

“Yeah one of the guys we’re looking for. Kyungsoo and him have gone through a lot together. They both lost their siblings and parents in the same airstrike.” he paused for a while and turned around making sure Kyungsoo can't hear them. “In a way Jongin became Kyungsoo’s only reason to live.”

Joonmyeon blinked a few times trying to process this message. Was everyone in this world an orphan? The longer he thought about it the more it terrified him.

He remembered Jongdae and the way his eyes glazed over every time he mentioned his family. Joonmyeon never asked but was sure that the other also lost everyone worth fighting for.

Chanyeol suddenly stopped breaking Joonmyeon’s chain of grim thoughts. “We’re here.” He whispered turning around and everyone stared into the darkness in front of them. Somewhere in the distance they could see a small doorway hidden in the maze of underground corridors.

Kyungsoo’s face was pale as he stared down the doorway as if trying to figure out how something this small can hold this much importance to him. He started slowly walking towards the door as if in a trance. Joonmyeon caught him by the sleeve to stop him.

“Were supposed to wait for Jongdae first.” his voice was much harsher than he intended.

Kyungsoo shook his head “I don’t care. We have to get inside as soon as possible.” his voice quivered a little when he said those words. “We can’t afford to wait.” He freed his sleeve and run towards the door followed by Baekhyun and Minseok.

Yixing turned around to face him and Chanyeol “We’re not leaving him, but you have a choice. You can either come and help or stay here and wait.” he said and run after the rest of the group.

Joonmyeon looked at Chanyeol “Go if you want to. I will wait for him.” Chanyeol didn’t have to be told twice. A few seconds later he was gone following after Baekhyun.

Joonmyeon sat down on the ground in the darkness trying to listen for any slightest sounds that would indicate Jongdae’s presence. He had no idea how much time passed but the next thing he heard was a series of shots coming from the direction of the doorway. A few seconds later the door slammed open and the whole group emerger in a hurry.

Baekhyun was leading and soon Joonmyeon noticed his shirt was covered in blood. Behind him Kyungsoo and a tall tanned man squeezed through the small gap supporting a third figure, who Joonmyeon assumed was Sehun. Joonmyeon didn't have a lot of time to think about it because Baekhyun yelled “Run.” All of them disappeared in the narrow corridor hearing bullets smashing the walls of the tunnel and shouts of The Peacekeepers.

He heard quick familiar footsteps to his left and turned around just in time to see Jongdae running alongside him. Tears of joy filled his eyes as he reached out to grab his hand.

The next minutes were a blur to Joonmyeon. They all followed Chanyeol running through the maze of the corridors. Joonmyeon could just hear quick footsteps in front and behind him as all of them frantically run for their lives. All that he could remember later was the erratic heartbeat against his chest and Jongdae's fingers tightly clasped against his palm. As they reached an underground station and jumped on the train he never let go of the others hand.

\----

They jumped out from the train and Joonmyeon felt his body hit the ground. Rain washed over the meadow, wetting his skin and clothes but he didn't mind. He looked back at the city rising in the distance and then back at Jongdae who was lying right next to him.

Splayed on the grass, breathing heavily, and holding Jongdae's hand he suddenly felt purpose. He found something to cherish and adore. More importantly there was something to be lost and that also meant he finally had something worth protecting.

As grass and rain tickled his skin he realised his heart was not empty anymore. It was full of half lidded eye smiles, soft brown curls and reckless bravery.

\--- _two months later_

The sun was rising behind the green mountains of the west dying the skies orange and red. The faraway peaks glistened in the morning light. Joonmyeon stood still on the porch of his house thinking about everything that happened since the day they escaped The Capitol.

Just a few days after their escape the rebellion started for good, but none of them were allowed to participate in the battles anymore. Two months later The Capitol fell and new order was established

Kyungsoo and Jongin got married straight after they returned to the eleven. Their wedding was small and intimate, in the midst of a war that just began. However Joonmyeon has never seen Kyungsoo smile so brightly.

Sehun was slowly recovering from the physical trauma at a local hospital. His prospects were good and all of them would visit every day to keep him company.

Chanyeol and Baekhyun moved in together. They both got engaged in rebuilding of the ruined cities of the eleven. A month later Baekhyun brought home Elliot, an orphaned kid who lost his family during the rebellion. Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun kept repeating it’s just temporary but everyone else knew Elliot just found a new family.

Minseok stayed behind in the Capitol to help with forming of the new government and Yixing decided to move away for good to escape the memories and search for new life outside The Eleventh District. Joonmyeon was still amazed at how the war could bring people so close to each other so quickly.

Joonmyeon heard someone's footsteps behind but he didn't have to turn around to know who they belonged to. His footsteps had the same hidden rhythm as his heartbeat and Joonmyeon knew that all too well. Jongdae's arms wrapped around his waist silently as the younger rested his head on Joonmyeon’s arm. They stayed like this in silence for a few good minutes.

“I love to see how things change so quickly” Jongdae said finally.

“Yeah, I still can’t get used to how fast the night disappears.” Joonmyeon stated dreamily still staring into the distance.

Jongdae was quiet for a while “Yeah, It’s really one hell of a view.”

“The dim stars fade away, just to make space for the bright sun.” Joonmyeon smiled admiring the landscape in front of them.

“I wasn’t talking about the scenery.” Jongdae hummed and Joonmyeon was sure he will never be able to forget the way he smiled. A permanent fire was burning in his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so that is it :) if you enjoyed please leave a comment as this will make my day most probably. I will be grateful for any kind of indication that you enjoyed my fic in the slightest :) If enough people enjoy this I might maybe follow up on it with a sequel of some kind? Anyways thank you again so much for reading :) Stay safe everyone <3


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